Where are you at with your daughter and her period?
We get so many questions from you about this one.
“She won’t talk to me about it. She hides it.”
Or: “She’s super embarrassed!”
Or: “I’m super embarrassed!”
Or basically this Q (which we’re answering today): “I want to make her period a… gasp… positive experience, and she won’t even talk to me about… what do I do?”
RIGHT?
Over 50% of the world’s population gets their period once a month (for some portion of their life anyways). And still, in most circles, periods are something we don’t talk about.
Yes, even though many of us don’t call it ‘the curse’ anymore (yup, totally what my mom told me to call it) — my experience with the thousands of girls that we work with is that most girls will still hear from their peers, from the media, and even implicitly or explicitly from the adults in their lives… that periods are gross, shameful, or at best a nuisance (right?).
In school culture, and sometimes home culture, girls witness that periods are something she has to hide — and something that makes her more ‘irrational’ and ‘weak’ than the boys and men in her life.
Feeling period shame has a negative effect on all of us.
Healing this can begin in the mother-daughter relationship. What if your mom had taught you to accept, and maybe even celebrate all aspects of your body?! That might sound like a hallelujah to you, or a radical crazy notion. Either way — hang in there with me!
Today we’re talking about whether you should celebrate your daughter’s period or not and HOW (yup the how can actually be something that your daughters ADORES).
Click the video below to watch.
Once you’ve gotten a chance to check out the video, leave a comment below —
Where are you at with this whole period thing?
How are you celebrating your own and your daughter’s period?
Share your answer below — because collective wisdom rocks, and we want to hear your take.
We need each other, Mama.
Love,
Sil
I love it.
Thanks so much Adam!
What a great post, Sil & Eliza. Thanks for initiating a conversation about the “red thread” that links us to to all women in a way that is deep and profound — and practical. I love the way you acknowledge (and celebrate) what it means to come into the body of a woman — a giant step for womankind.
Thank you dear Anita! I know how much this means to you personally and professionally! Thank you for your commitment to teaching women and girls to know their moon rhythms!
Not exactly celebrating it yet, but my daughter started the notion that we “Give each other our period” in our house. Like its contagious . it becomes a common experience between us three women. Working on a way to celebrate it more. Boy would it have made me feel like I belonged to the matriline if my mother had been able to celebrate it, and us as women.
I love hearing that you are working on celebrating your periods more in your home! Sounds to me like the longing you have to have had that as a young woman- as well as for your mother to have been able to celebrate her period as well- is really having such a positive impact on your daughter. The matriline is healing!
This is great, thank you! I agree, but was a little unsure in our family and, therefore, hesitant. Kat got her period for the first time only recently (summer), and I told all the women in my life and wondered if I shouldn’t, but no negative reaction from Kat. When she told me she got it the 2nd time, I said, “Yay, your body is working well!” She uses an app and took a pic of it and texted to me that it said her cycle was estimated to start 2 days earlier, along with a “sweating it out” emoji from her. I LOLd and reassured her with specifics. I’m so grateful she is sharing with me. I didn’t share with my mother at all as a teen. I remember my dad saying, “Congratulations,” when I got mine at age 14+ and it was weird & embarrassing. But also a little nice.
Michele, This is soooo touching!! Thank you for sharing. We will be having another WETHRIVE episode on how we can learn to love our daughter’s cell phone. Hard to imagine, right? But this is a perfect example of having it work for a mother-daughter relationship!!! A period app where she is connecting with you about her experience. “Sweating it out” emoji!! How completely adorable. (Sorry, the mother in me can’t help but use the adorable word.) And then you LOLd her and reassured her with specifics. Such a healing of the matriline, that your first period was practically a non-event and that you and Kat are bonding over it. Also, your dad’s congrats: such a good example of how a parent can embarrass but how deep down you appreciated even all these years later. We need to trust our experience and celebrate our girls (and boys) even as they resist it.
This is great and something that’s been on my mind for a while. My friend’s mom (I was out with my bff and her mom when I got my period) turned the evening into a celebration for me and I will always be grateful to her for that. I’m hoping I can pass along the celebration for my daughter when it’s time.
I just love you two so much! It’s wonderful to see your success with the new site! xoxox
Harriet!
We love you so much!!! Love hearing about your spontaneous period celebration! You will pass it on and the matriline will keep healing!
Thanks for your feedback about the website! xoxox S (& E)
Thank you SO MUCH for making this episode! This is something that comes up all the time for my mom clients. They don’t want their daughters to grow up with as much fear, or ignorance as they did. After working with me they want their daughters to know the power in their period, but HOW to have that discussion! I love that you’re willing to not only have this conversation but make it so public. Thank you, you’re making my job easier! I’m going to pass this on to all my moms!
You are SO WELCOME Stasha! Thank you for your wonderful feedback and for passing this on to all your moms. LOVE what you are doing!
I wish I had watched this before my daughter got her period, though my friend gave her flowers when she heard. Thank you for offering a way to celebrate now, even though it’s been a little while since the first one. I love how Sil and Eliza remind us that it is never too late. I can’t wait to make her periods to come special!
You are so welcome Aviva. Keep us posted about how your never-too-late celebrations go! Love, Sil