Archive of On the Go Answers from the Ultimate Mother-Daughter Duo

Don’t Make Fat a Dirty Word

Sil here.

How do we teach our daughters to love their curves?

(1) We reclaim “fat.”



Fat is pretty much a ‘dirty word’ in our culture.

Think about how we use it.

For many of us, fat is the ultimate insult.

* And if you’re having an enlightened NO IT’S NOT (!) response to this, let’s drop down into the more insidious ways that this mass cultural belief can still live inside us, even if we’re loving on our curves:

It’s “better” to be smaller, to take up less space.

We rush to convince our self-disparaging girlfriends that “no, you’re not fat! You look beautiful!” as if the two words couldn’t exist together: fat and beautiful.

Or, a personal fave: “you look so beautiful; did you lose weight?” Like this glow I’ve got going on must mean I’ve dropped some pounds.

My mother was the first one who taught me how to diet.

Ouch, right?

I think she meant it to be a kindness. A twisted matrilineal legacy, if you will.

Our daughters’ generation is dieting younger and younger.

Have you noticed?

Here’s the thing: my mother started dieting to get her body ‘back’ after baby #3…

Eliza’s friends started dieting when they were preteens… before or when puberty was starting to hit (all hail the much-Instagrammed ‘thigh gap’).

What can we do about it?

(2) Get smart about what “fat” actually means.

Not only does all this fat-phobia get in the way of us and our precious daughters enjoying life and loving our naturally curvaceous selves… it’s actually a health concern.

Do you know that fat is an essential nutrient for a woman’s health?
Come get a massive reframe in today’s episode of We Thrive TV, where I’m breaking it all down with my precious girl Eliza, and giving you specific tools for helping you and your daughter stay body sane in a fat-phobic culture.

I’d love to hear your thoughts:

How are you talking to your girl about accepting and loving her developing, naturally curvaceous feminine body?

Share your answer below — because collective wisdom rocks, and we want to hear your take. We need each other, mama.



Hi, We’re Sil & Eliza!

The mother-daughter dynamic duo behind Mothering & Daughtering. We’re downright devoted to you thriving not just surviving with your daughter during the preteen, teen years and beyond.

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