Archive of On the Go Answers from the Ultimate Mother-Daughter Duo

Do You Know the Difference Between Privacy and Secrecy?

How do we as mothers know when to give our daughter her space? And when to get more involved – to gently, but firmly press her for more details and make sure we know the whole story?

For example, you ask her how school was today (right?).

Sometimes school was just “fine” today. That’s actually it. She’s tired. Let her crash.

Sometimes there’s a deeper story waiting behind the crossed arms, or behind the busy distracted thumbs scanning Instagram — or whatever social app is hip right now, this week, at school.

How do we as mothers know the difference between our daughter’s privacy, and, well, frankly… dangerous secrecy?

Dangerous is a big word — and we want to be careful about how we use it in a media culture that looooves to spin towards negativity. However: the truth is that when the adults don’t know how and when to step in, and when teen world gets out of control (the blind leading the blind), well then, yes, it can be dangerous.

Today we’re diving into the difference between privacy and secrecy, and how, as a mom (and as a woman) you can learn to trust your instincts — knowing that there is never a secret that is actually FUN to keep from mom (read: secrets make us feel awful).

Click the video below to watch.

Even if “secrets” don’t feel like they’re an issue for you with your daughter, there’s a golden nugget for you in this episode on the sacred nature of privacy. It’s also about how we can sink into have gosh darn good it feels to have our precious and healthy boundaries up (whatever age you are!).

Once you’ve gotten a chance to check out the video, leave a comment below —

Do you know the difference between privacy and secrecy with your daughter?

Share your answer below — because collective wisdom rocks, and we want to hear your take. We need each other, mama.


Sil & Eliza

Hi, We’re Sil & Eliza!

The mother-daughter dynamic duo behind Mothering & Daughtering. We’re downright devoted to you thriving not just surviving with your daughter during the preteen, teen years and beyond.

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