Archive of On the Go Answers from the Ultimate Mother-Daughter Duo

What Do I Say When My Daughter Says She’s Fat?


The million dollar question.

“What do I say when my daughter says she’s fat?”

The mom nightmare.

She starts to talk crap about her body.

…how do we respond? So that she doesn’t just roll her eyes at us? How do we stop fighting just this uphill battle against the ‘media’ and the Instagram posts and the middle school talk about what’s ‘sexy’?

A mom in our community, Marilyn, wrote me this question last week. You see, she was struggling to find the ‘right’ words when her daughter started critiquing her own body… does this ever happen to you?

And I thought: jeez, I know that hell.

Immediately, I knew I wanted to bring it to all of us on We Thrive TV, because I know mama Marilyn is so not alone.


But then I had to call in a sister, my ultimate back up around all things body, fat, curvy, food, and women: enter Anita Johnson.

I have worked side-by-side with Anita for decades. She’s a renowned psychologist and a remarkable author. Her journey with body image had unique beginnings: she competed in the Miss Universe pageant at the age of 18, and then, so impacted, devoted the rest of her life to the relationship between women, power and the body! She’s the real deal: walking the walk in her own life.

Beyond that, she’s the dear friend I call when I’ve hit my own body overwhelm. (Don’t we all sometimes?). I thought: why not bring my ultimate body wise woman to you?

Plus, she knows this mothering gig through and through — with two young adult daughters of her own.

This conversation is so good. We talk practical, and we talk myth. We talk fat facts, and we talk about ancient cultures’ mother-daughter relationships. Ain’t that the Mothering & Daughtering way? 😉

So excited to share this one with you.

Click the video below to watch.

Maybe your daughter isn’t bringing up “fat” per say? Maybe it’s a different critique, or a way of finding her body wrong? This episode is for you too. Click the video above to watch.

Every other week, I will still be bringing you a new episode where we answer your burning questions, mama. And I’ll be joined by a crew of amazing mother/daughter guests — and yup, a regular guest will be my badass daughter and former co-host: Eliza.

Once you’ve gotten a chance to check out the video, leave a comment below:

How are you or can you reframe your daughter’s discomfort or alarm with her changing body into valuable information, curiosity or emotional intelligence?

— because collective wisdom rocks,
and we want to hear your take.

We need each other, mama.



P.S. Share this video with a mama tackling puberty and changing bodies.  Because sharing is caring, and everyone could use a stronger bond.

Hi, We’re Sil & Eliza!

The mother-daughter dynamic duo behind Mothering & Daughtering. We’re downright devoted to you thriving not just surviving with your daughter during the preteen, teen years and beyond.

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