Are you and your daughter too close?
Do you worry that perhaps she’s not independent enough?
She calls you her best friend. She still wants to sit in your lap, and often tries to fall asleep in your bed with you. She depends on you, and when you look around — you see that most other mother-daughter pairs aren’t doing it this way.
You have the nagging worry that maybe she’s toooooo dependent.
** heads up, mama — if this is so not your issue, in fact, you’ve got the opposite worry: i.e. I wish my daughter and I were a heck of a lot closer — hang in there with us. Today, we’re talking about the essential relationship between independence and dependence, and we think you’ll be surprised by our take. **
On the blog today, we’re talking about boundaries and reclaiming healthy dependence. This is one of our favorite conversations yet, and we can’t wait to share it with you!
Click the video below to watch.
Once you’ve gotten a chance to check out the video, leave a comment below — because collective wisdom rocks, and we want to hear your take. We need each other, mama.
Love,
Sil & Eliza
P.S. Use the links below to share this video with a mama in your circle — because sharing is caring, and everyone could use a stronger bond.
Sil and Eliza,
Thank you! That was so helpful!
Clarifying healthy Mother-Daughter Dependence-Independence … it’s a process for sure but on our way and I feel like many many prayers have been answered.
Apreciate your mama bear wisdom!
Aurelie
You are so welcome Aurelie! Appreciate you being part of the Mothering & Daughtering tribe! xo
What happens when your daughter doesn’t want to talk or spend time with you? When she was little she was attached at the hip and since in high school and now first year of college, doesn’t tell me anything or talk to me about her life. If I ask her questions she gets mad.
Hi Victoria. Glad you reached out. I suspect peer orientation is part of what has gone on here with you and your daughter. This is a phenomenon which is well defined by Gordon Neufeld in his book: Hold Onto Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers. Or for your daughter’s college age, Terri Apter wrote a great book called The Myth of Maturity. Our book: Mothering & Daughtering is very helpful on this subject of peer orientation and attachment issues. I suspect that deep-down your daughter wants very much to be close to you. These books may help you with some strategies for reconnecting with her. Best wishes.