Have you ever struggled in your relationship with your mom?
(Oh, sister, yes, we’re going there!).
And maybe, like me, you’ve fretted that your tension with your mom (and yes — that’s a general term, it might feel like a broken relationship, or it might feel like a relationship that’s mostly good, but hard sometimes) is going to be repeat itself in your relationship with your daughter?
Either way, we’re heading into the holiday season here in the U.S..
For many of us, that means family gatherings.
I want you to feel sane, strong and centered.
I want you to feel nourished and loved.
SO, when I got a question from a mama in our community about her relationship with her mom, I knew I wanted to answer it here, for all of us.
And, I knew I wanted to bring on a special mama to answer it with me.
Enter Dr. Christiane Northrup.
If you look up the word revolutionary in the dictionary… you should find Dr. Christiane Northrup there.
Her classic book, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, has been translated into 24 languages and has transformed the way a whole generation of women — and now a next generation of daughters — relate to their bodies. Let me state it this way: Chris calls herself an expert on ‘everything that can go right with the female body’! What a reframe.
She’s a woman who is doing the work in her motherline. Let me tell you. She’s a daughter, a mother, and a grandmother, and one of my most beloved friends.
It’s time to get real about healing our relationship with our moms.
So we can thrive.
And our daughters can thrive.
I’m so excited for you to watch this one!
Click the video below to watch.
I am so thrilled to kick-off Mothering & Daughtering’s new season of We Thrive TV with my extraordinary guest Dr. Christiane Northrup! Every other week, I will still be bringing you a new episode where we answer your burning questions, mama. And I’ll be joined by a crew of amazing mother/daughter guests — and yup, a regular guest will be my badass daughter and former co-host: Eliza.
Once you’ve gotten a chance to check out the video, leave a comment below —
What have you healed in your relationship with your mom that has given you more room to thrive in your relationship with your daughter?
— because collective wisdom rocks, and we want to hear your take.
We need each other.
P.S. Share this video with a mama who’s healing with her mama. Because sharing is caring, and everyone could use a stronger bond.
I’ve done a lot of healing in my relationship with my body from what I learned from my mother. It has given my daughter the space to love herself unconditionally. That said, I did something just this morning that my mother does, that didn’t work with my daughter. She had just received a hand me down coat from a friend. I complimented her on how she looked in it and she was unresponsive. Later on I tried it on and showed her, saying that we really aren’t such different sizes. I thought she’d feel good knowing that she is growing up. Instead she said that I looked better in the coat and that she wouldn’t wear it. My intuition told me not to try it on in the first place, but I didn’t listen. I’m going to think some more about what it is about that kind of behavior that made me feel so bad with my mom and be more aware of it in myself.
Dear Aviva, Thank you so much for your transparency here. Wow. How we on Team Human unconsciously repeat some of our mother’s unhelpful behavior-despite our best intentions. Argh! And your intuition (the doll in your pocket!) was trying to get your attention. Live and learn. What a lucky girl Lily is to have a mama who is actively healing the motherline. Brava!
Oh what a wonderful session! so glad to have stumbled upon this conversation with my favorite woman speaker, Christianne Northrup. I only recently discovered at the ripe young age of 65 that I must have my own life and my daughter must have the same. What a revelation it has been to our relationship! Of course, there was many years of drama, hurt, etc., to get to this place. However, it is all worth the journey to be presently in a place that she loves to talk with me and I with her. We have lived 1,800 miles apart for the past 11 years, and I now realize that it wasn’t a punishment for my guilt as a mother. It was to give time and space to both of us to rediscover our own priorities and talents to share with our world, as well as with family. Thank you for your beautiful “girlfriend” conversation!!
Thank you Pam. This is beautiful! I am so inspired by your emotional maturity. Sil
The message I received was to – in all truth – be aware of the energy vampire. And that yes, that might have been the mother you grew up with and still have. As a person coming from severe mental illness myself, I now know that my mother was a walking undiagnosed “vampire” with definite narcissistic personality disorder, perhaps some BPD as well. Just to stand in for those with mental health issues and to stop the stigma that irritated me in this broadcast, since I work in psychiatric facilities and have an Msc. in Mental Health Recovery, I feel obliged to correct that narcissistic and histrinoic are not at all the same as borderline personality disorders. Likewise to throw a psychopath into the same pot, which is a severly schizoid disorder is like throwing garlic and turnips into the same soup. This is not the differentiated C.N. ObGyn that I normally recommend to others. Please for the sake of those willing to heal, lets tell stories that are helpful. So where is the book for those that will never have the dynamic mother-daughter duo that you seems to be raving about? That need to mourn and end the continuation of generations of sucking each other out to not have to feel their un(w)holiness? With gratitude and blessings, Stephanie
Thank you for your insight and input Stephanie! Warmly, Sil
Thank you Dympna!