How much do you share with your girl?
We mean: about your real adult emotional life.
Woah. Big question.
Here’s what we mean:
Say, you’re struggling. It’s been a rough day.
Your girl comes home from school.
You feel like one more thing and you’re gonna totally fall apart.
You don’t want to be fake with with her…
…and you know she can probably tell something’s up anyways.
(yeah, she’s super intuitive).
You want to be real with your daughter…
and yet…
… you’re not sure how much is appropriate to share?
Oh mama, this question is oh-so-true at any age.
Heyo, let’s talk the intricacies of mom-daughter boundaries.
(We made a video for you about it).
In this week’s episode of #WeThriveTV we’re talking about complex sea of mother-daughter relationships… and the big question: can mothers and daughters be ‘best friends’?
Click the video below to watch!
Once you’ve gotten a chance to check out the video, leave a comment below — because collective wisdom rocks, and we want to hear your take. We need each other, mama.
Love,
Sil & Eliza
P.S. Share this video to a mama in your circle who’s navigating the ups and downs and doesn’t know how much to share with her girl — because sharing is caring, and everyone could use a stronger bond.
Right click to download + Share on Instagram
Hi, We’re Sil & Eliza!
The mother-daughter dynamic duo behind Mothering & Daughtering. We’re downright devoted to you thriving not just surviving with your daughter during the preteen, teen years and beyond.
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My 16 year old told me last week that she does not want to be my best friend. We talked about what that meant to her.
An appropriate place I go is to Alanon meetings where there are adults who can relate and offer experience, strength and hope. It’s been an amazing resource for me and allows me to not lean on my daughter for emotional support.
Thank you for sharing Jenny. You have found a place where you can go and get emotional support and this makes such a difference! I am very impressed that you two have spoken about this and by your emotional maturity and boundaries- this will make a big difference in your bond long-term. You are an inspiration!
Thank you for making these videos. As an adult who came from a dysfunctional family. I am feeling validated by you from this video that my mother has very inappropriate boundaries. When I was growing up she would go to my sister about difficulties in her marriage and recently when she and I had difficulties she choose to triangulate with my sister. When I said I didn’t appriciate it she accusingly said “well who else can I talk to about it?! Not you!” Well, she shouldn’t be talking to either of us, but instead a friend. I now don’t really have a relationship with either my mom or sister because that’s how things like this go. I don’t have daugters, but I do have sons and while this information applies more to mother/daughter relationships I think it’s good for all parenting.
Thank you for joining the conversation Michelle! We totally agree with you that these boundaries apply to parenting sons and daughters. Good for you for raising your sons with this kind of awareness! I am sorry that your mother and sister are triangulating with their communications. Painful for you, but lucky for your sons that you know what triangulation is and that direct communication and good boundaries are the way to go for emotionally mature relationships. Because of your emotional maturity, they will benefit.
I have a 20 year old who started pushing away toward the end of her freshman year in college. Before that she and I were very close.
Not all push aways occur in the teen years….So be prepared! anyone else out there experiencing what I am?
thank you! Jill
Thank you for sharing Jill. It is a bit easier to deal with any push away when our daughters are living at home because there are more opportunities to talk and connect. How far away is your daughter? Can you visit her? Can you have a regular visit with her and push through some of the awkwardness/discomfort and help her find a new way of connecting?