Mothering: (moth-er-ing); n. Raising your daughter to become herself. Daughtering: (daught-er-ing); n. Staying real with your mom.

Our new book, Mothering and Daughtering: Keeping Your Bond Strong Through the Teen Years, is out!

We are Sil and Eliza Reynolds, a mother and daughter team. In our workshops and writing together, we teach the radical notion that mothers and their daughters can not only survive the adolescent years, but also thrive in them. It has been our experience—in contrast to conventional wisdom—that preteen and teenage daughters actually want and need a close relationship with their mother.

What if teenage daughters could see their mothers as a great ally as they grew up and became independent? What if mothers could create safety for a teen daughter’s experience of herself, consciously guiding her to be who she was born to be? Join us on the journey to reclaim your mother-daughter bond for life! Order your copy today, or sign up to join us for the intensive Mothering & Daughtering workshop experience!

"What Sil and Eliza Reynolds teach mothers and their teenage daughters is profound, essential and revolutionary."

# 1 New York Times bestselling author of Women, Food and God

"If these challenges [between mother and daughter] are a generational thing, Sil has surely broken the pattern with her own daughter."

actor and author of My Life So Far

"Mothering and Daughtering has been deeply meaningful to us. Sil and Eliza have given us practical tools and wisdom that transformed our relationship and deepened our bond during the challenging teenage years. This beautifully written book is fresh with creative ideas and is a gift to all mothers and their teenage daughters."

"What you hold in your hands is more than a book--it’s a lifeline to mothers and daughters who want to move through the teen years with a real, loving, and lasting relationship. Both Sil and Eliza believe that as girls grow away from childhood and toward adulthood, they actually want and need to stay close to their mothers; and that mothers also want and need closeness, even as they help their girls find their own voice and spread their wings. In this guidebook for a new kind of mother-daughter relationship, Sil and Eliza challenge the stereotype of the broken bond between mother and daughter. They provide inspiration and tools honed from their own experience, and from the hundreds of moms and girls they have helped in their workshops. If you are a mother or a daughter who wants to navigate the teen years side-by-side, please read this book. "

Cofounder, Omega Institute and author of Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow

""In this powerful book, Eliza and Sil Reynolds offer mothers and daughters the only kind of wisdom really worth giving--a reminder that the big secret to a resilient bond is nothing less than love. They're voices intermingle authentically and eloquently, a model for us all of shared, intergenerational leadership and the power of courageous communication.""

Author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters and Do It Anyway

"Mother-daughter conflict during the teen years is neither inevitable or healthy. There’s another way. Read this book and learn how to keep your mother-daughter bond strong and healthy for a lifetime."

author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom and Mother-Daughter Wisdom

"Mothering & Daughtering is a gem, a precious insight into the growth of mothers and daughters, and into the honesty and cherishing of each other."

Jungian analyst and author of Addiction to Perfection

"What I love most about this book is how honest and down-to-earth Sil and Eliza are about themselves and their relationship. Girls and their moms will find comfort and companionship from two people who have themselves struggled -- and who offer strategies and wisdom that will help all of us become more aware, authentic mothers and daughters."

author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl

"This book is a precious gem that I wish had been around for my daughters’ adolescence. Sil and Eliza give a timeless gift to mothers and daughters to help them deepen their love and understanding of each other before, during, and after adolescence. Moms who dread the thought of raising their daughters in their teen years will value this lifesaver of practical wisdom. Daughters who are in the midst of figuring out who they are separate from their mothers will appreciate Eliza’s advice on how to have a supportive relationship with their mothers without constant fighting. Even though my daughters are now wonderful women, I want to share this book with them and look forward to the conversations and new understandings that this book encourages."

editor New Moon Girls Magazine


Mothering & Daughtering

My daughter was the one who had the idea.

Isn't that the way it so often starts?

"Take the roses and sprinkle them around the altar. Quick, before the security guards come!"

We scuttle around the stone dais, petal by petal under my fingertips.

"Now a picture, now a picture!"

Our friend takes out a phone. Only my daughter's eyes looking back at me.

As mothers, bringing home our own relationship to the sacred is one of the most important steps we can take.

It wasn't always this way with my girl. My home altar used to get eye rolls.

How do you bring the sacred home to your daughter?


Remember, the sacred actually isn't foreign to your daughter.

The sacred is, quite simply, that which you value, that which you love. Eliza often tells teen girls it's "what is special to you."

What is sacred to your daughter?

Girls night? Adornment through her attention to the detail of her makeup and clothes before she goes to school in the morning? Reading? The tree in your backyard? Family?

Notice what is sacred to her and celebrate it. It may look different than yours.

Ritual is the way to teach her the everyday sacred.

Everyday intentional ritual reminds us what is important when the rest of the world makes us feel crazy. Ritual creates a container for to intentionally move through our lives.

Eating dinner together is a ritual.

Taking a bath and lighting a candle is a ritual.

A three-word check-in before bed is a ritual: what was it like to be you today?

Being in conscious relationship teaches us how to be spiritual.

Clue: it's all about love.

When you bond, connect, giggle, communicate, negotiate, hold firm boundaries, model compassion, dance in the kitchen, put her to bed when she's overtired and cranky...

AKA when you build conscious, intentional relationship with your daughter...

You teach her what it is to be a spiritual person.

You teach her love.

The best way to connect is to create time.

Aggressively schedule the time for it.

Make sure it's 1:1. Even if it's "just" for 15 minutes.

Kiss the technology good-bye, and instead be face to face, or side by side.

If we want to connect, we have to create time for it.

Remember, your daughter wants and needs you in her life more than ever (just in a new way). Time together will ground you both (even if she doesn't know it yet).

Over to you:

What is sacred to you in your relationship with your daughter?

What rituals are you inspired to bring home to your daughter? What are you already doing that's working (share your wisdom!)?

What's the next time the two of you are going to have 1:1 time to connect? I'd love to hear from you on Facebook comments!


Big love,


P.S. We've got two life-changing weekend workshops coming up in May, and a few spots are left! If you're looking to find a way to reconnect with your daughter, this is the best way we know: time away.

Timeline Photos

May 1st 1:32pm • No Comments